--- title: Which Words Matter Most When We Talk description: How you talk and what you say matters the most, not body language. Find out more about what words you say are most important from business phone system provider VTSL, leaders in VoIP and hosted communications in the UK. image: https://blog.vtsl.net/hubfs/Business_phone_system_provider_uk_voip_myth_of_speaking.png --- ## NEWS & BLOG ## Which Words Matter Most When We Talk - ** Audra Oliver - ** 28-Aug-2015 10:39:00 - ** Our brains magically single out language from any other sound.  They then port it to the right “department” in order to give it meaning.  In fact they port it to two different departments of the brain – one that comprehends the **meaning of the words**, and the other that comprehends **meaning through melody**. ![Business_phone_system_provider_uk_voip_myth_of_speaking](https://blog.vtsl.net/hs-fs/hubfs/Business_phone_system_provider_uk_voip_myth_of_speaking.png?width=399&name=Business_phone_system_provider_uk_voip_myth_of_speaking.png)   So while we used to think body language was everything when it came to conveying our point, we now know **intonation and actual wording** matters more. Communicating clearly when you speak is dependent on the words you say and the tone of your voice.   It is also dependent on a several other things.  Here are a few tips we have compiled from leading research done in this field.     ### **Smiling – the highest positive emotional gesture** One of the most powerful elements to consider when thinking about speech is your facial expression.  As researcher Andrew Newberg uncovers in his book “[Words Can Change Your Brain](http://www.amazon.com/Words-Can-Change-Your-Brain/dp/1594630909/saloncom08-20)”, the facial expressions we carry have a huge impact on how what we are saying is percieved. Note facial expressions are different than body language.  He explains the results of one of his studies:   *The symbol rated with the highest positive emotional content was the smiley face. The painting of the Mona Lisa is one particular example of that feeling of calmness.* * * ### **Talk no longer than 30 seconds in a given conversation** Newberg adds:   *The human brain can really only hold on to four things at a time, so if you go on and on for five or 10 minutes trying to argue a point, the person will only remember a very small part of that.*   Instead, 30 seconds is the optimal amount for us to speak at any given time he says.   ### **Avoid adverbs in speech and writing** Adverbs are said to be one of the worst elements of speech and can even make a listener or reader lose trust. Writer Kim Peres [explains](http://www.screenwrightist.com/avoid-writing-adverbs-adjectives):   *Using single words to describe actions and objects quickly brings them to mind. When someone “stabs” a straw into their drink we see it, but “pokes swiftly” is not so clear. When a person “meanders” it is more accurate than “walking slowly.*   Peres goes on to explain that “**too much unnecessary text induces skipping.”**   What we easily forget on a very high level is that **using fewer words builds trust.**** **So any words that don’t convey meaning can erode our readers’ and listeners’ interest.   ### **The skill of asking questions: “What would you do?”** According to journalist-turned-entrepreneur Evan Ratliff, starting questions with “who,” “what,” “where,” “when,” “how,” or “why” is likely to get a great response. To be avoided are “would,” “should,” “is,” “are,” and “do you think,” as they can limit how people respond to you a lot.   To give an [example](http://www.fastcompany.com/3003945/one-conversational-tool-will-make-you-better-absolutely-everything):   ***Good:**** “What would you do?” **Bad:** “Would you do X?” **Terrible:** “Would you do X or Y or Z or Q or M or W or … ?”* * * ### **Quick last fact: Make three positive comments for every negative statement** The last tip comes from [Andrew Newberg](http://www.salon.com/2012/06/03/your_words_matter/) again. His research suggests that negative arguments have an incredibly detrimental effect to our brain. We need to pay particular attention to not let them take over and ensure we use a 3-to-1 ratio of positive to negative coments.   He explains:   *When you get into a dialogue with somebody to discuss any particular issue, a three-to-one ratio is a relatively good benchmark to think about; you wind up creating the opportunity for a more constructive dialogue and hopefully a better resolution.*   ### **So what about phones?** If the words you say and how you say them are pivotal in communicating well, then it is clear that your business phone system is a critical component of your company's success.  Can your employees be heard when they speak through their office phone, or is their voice too soft due to a low quality phone?  Is there fuzz on the line?  Is voice-quality up-and-down depending on the day?    There are literally hundreds of different business phone systems you can choose from, and hundreds of providers—but if you want an affordable office phone system, with guaranteed voice quality, so that your employees can communicate words, tone and inflection with success… call VTSL.  We a leading hosted VoIP business phone provider with fair prices, guaranteed voice quality and 30+ features for free.  Visit our website at [www.vtsl.net](https://www.vtsl.net) or speak to someone now on 020 7078 3200.  And may you speak with the right words and inflection for evermore...    ---   - [Tweet](https://twitter.com/share) ### Welcome to our blog! 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